I want to straggle the alarm clock.

I hate alarm clocks.

Actually I take that back. I have nothing against alarm clocks. They serve their function faithfully, and without questions, that purpose being to emit a loud noise at a precise moment in time.

What I hate, is my bodies unnatural ability to wait up five minutes before the alarm is set to go off. And it happens a lot.

If you wake up in the middle of the night of your own volition, like say two hours before you need to be awake, you can say "cool, I can sleep a bit longer". But when your bastard brain wakes you up just minutes before the party is set to start, what's the point of laying your head back down? May as well get up five minutes early. Doesn't stop me from stealing a few minutes of snuggle time with my quilt and pillow, but it's the principal of the matter.

What the hell?
So I looked it up.


From: http://www.biotele.com/facts.html
- The "natural alarm clock" which enables some people to wake up more or less when they want to is caused by a burst of the stress hormone adrenocorticotropin. Researchers say this reflects an unconscious anticipation of the stress of waking up.

Well, son of a bitch, I figured I was the type to overstress.

I'm not fat, I'm just a Hobbit.

At 27 years old, I'm not as fat as I might think I am. Over the last few years, I've heard time and time again that I'm losing weight. I usually remain unconvinced of this when I look down as see this spherical bulge eminating from my person.
I never call myself fat, though. That would be a relatively defeatist way of going about it. I very much prefer to call myself "Hobbity". However, at 5'8, 5'9, depending on what convenience store I'm leaving, I'm pretty tall for a halfling.

I don't let my weight become a fixture of my day, and I really try to not take crap from people about it either. My sister and mother are probably the worst. Yeah yeah, I know they're family and mean well, but unlike them, I haven't mastered the fine art of sucking up nutrients from the air, so you'll excuse a guy for wanting to eat. My mother is also notorious for putting work in priority to her health, so as much as I love the woman to death, I take her advice with a grain of salt.

Sixteen Things Calvin and Hobbes Said Better Than Anyone Else

Sixteen Things Calvin and Hobbes Said Better Than Anyone Else

The Human Ideal

This list is composed of things that I've deduced are the qualities expected of a person from Employers, Teachers, Religions, and others combined.

-Does not drink
-Does not smoke
-Does not have impure thoughts
-Does not fool around
-Observes perfect eating habits
-Accepts and completes all objectives given to him or her
-Does not complain nor expresses discontent
-Is always cordial and respectful, even in the face of adversity
-Excercises regularly
-Saves themselves for marriage
-Does not watch Reality Television
-Does not watch Television in general
-Gives time to non-profit organizations
-Recycles
-Does not sleep in or stay up late, observing a consistant sleep schedule
-Is always on time, with zero margin for error
-Has endurance to withstand being on his or her feet for hours at a time
-Does not question the intentions or orders of his or her superiors
-Does not play video games
-Is available at all hours should anything need be done
-Observes the rules, and follows them to the letter

This, as far as I figured, is the ideal human being in terms of human society. Polite. Hard working. Sterile. Subordinate.

The perfect human is a machine.

Dreaming it.

My brother tends to annoy me when it comes to his dreams. Usually, his dreams involve foreign countries invading Arizona (and only Arizona mind you, we're apparently all that matters) and beating the shit out of me. One time, North Korea pulled up alongside me, kidnapped me, beat the living hell out of me and made me walk home from Superior...Like I wouldn't have stopped to use a phone in Superior.
I got mad at him eventually and forbade him from falling asleep watching the History channel.

My dreams are far more whimsical and fun. I dream of saving a group of tiny victorian people from an old man in a cape. Or exploring a London that looks a lot like Puerto Penasco, Mexico. Or, my favorite, tracking a jewel thief from Coolige, Arizona, to somewhere out in the middle of the desert, to an abandoned train depot...and suddenly ninjas.

Now which would you rather have? Grim and unnecessary foreign invasion dreams,or wild adventures with ninjas? Choose wisely.

DC Universe Online...Meh

One would think that me being a fan of City of Heroes, DC Universe Online would just be an upgraded improvement. Then I stepped into the character creator.
After five minutes, I realized that COH's character maker runs circles around this garbage. Unless you're going for "Spandexed Goofy Motherfucker", which seems to be an emphasis, your going be unsatisfied.

Then the game started, with me running my skull faced goofy motherfucker through an alien craft. I immediately felt like I was playing an action game than an MMO. Fifteen minutes later, I'm still in the opening segment.

At the 20 minute mark, I just wanted to play City of Heroes.

Despite being free-to-play, I still felt cheated.

Fighting back the snooze.

At the moment, it is almost four o'clock in the morning. And I can't sleep. Not that I can't in the way one would if they had insomnia. No. This is prep-sleep-deprivation to prepare myself for a graveyard shift assignment at my temp job that fell into my lap all of a sudden, as temp assignment are want to do.
I really want to go to sleep, or at the very least be comfortable, but I know that would defeat the purpose of trying to keep myself awake. As soon as I get comfortable, I know it'll be no time at all until my eyelids droop and I'm paying for it later.